Homo-, bi- and transsexual with Pink Dot

Ever since we went to Thailand the first time and I understood what the term 'lady boy' referred to, I've really been wondering about rights for HBT (homo-, bi- and transsexual) individuals in Asia. Here, a lot of the countries have both religion and culture, which in most cases makes living in an relationship which is not heterosexual, impossible.

I have not been able to voice this at all really being in Asia, which of course is disturbing for opinionated individuals being raised in a country like Sweden. However, even in Sweden, which is supposed to be one of the countries where the debates on equality between genders and freedom of speech and marriage has come 'furthest in the world', there are still hate crimes each year. In addition, there have been very strong reactions to for instance gay marriages in church and there are also to this day people who have negative opinions regarding female priests. Hence, the equality debate has obviously quite some distance to go. Still, you can't legally fire someone or refuse them to rent an apartment on there mere basis of them being gay, even though I'm sure this happens frequently. 

To me the whole debate, especially in Asia, is very ambiguous. In Japan it's for instance perfectly alright to have 'man bags' i. e. male handbags, it seems like a law to have pink bling-bling on your phone if you are a salary-man and most TV presenters I have seen so far have been men dressed up like women. But when you ask if that would be considered gay or transsexual, people look at you as if you've lost your mind. You are also only warned about one area when you move to Tokyo: Ni-Chome. When I asked our agent Kato-san about it, since I assumed the crime rate was high there which is the most common reason for others warning you to move to specific neighborhoods, he laughed quietly and said: 'No, no, Colin-san, but many man-bars'. I replied a bit surprised: 'Oh, you mean strip clubs?', which wasn't exactly a shocker, since washeries, love hotels, strip clubs, maid cafes and hostess/host bars (mostly kept rather out of sight unless you were in the heart of Shinjuku) were basically everywhere. He then looked very uncomfortable and more turned to Jonas and said: 'Maybe man-who-likes-man-bars'. It took a few seconds for both Jonas and I to get it and then we replied at the same time: 'Ah, it's a gay district!'. Kato-san then sighed and said: 'Yes, yes, many bad' and that was that. There was absolutely no way he would show us anything even near Ni-Chome.

Another example, was when we now went for diving and one afternoon relaxed having Thai massage. I suddenly noticed that the hands belonging the woman who was assigned to take care of me were the same size as my feet. I didn't think much of it, until she started whispering to me rather than talking. At the same time I noticed her feet being several centimeters longer than mine and I put two and two together. I then turned to Jonas and said: 'Do you think your masseuse is a woman?'. He looked at me as if I just had said 'I think I want to have fresh babies for dinner', then browsed the girl in front of him quickly, raised his eyebrows and sighed:  'What.. what?'. So I continued: 'Well, I mean do you think is it a man in women's clothing or is it a woman like me?'. There was still no verbal response, so I continued: 'Because.. I'm pretty sure my masseuse is a dude'. He looked at me in disbelief, then at my girl, smiled and said: 'Oh, yeah, you're right, it's definitely a dude. She has really big feet'. We were quiet for a bit and then the pink elephant (I thought this saying would fit in marvelously well here) had to be addressed, so I asked: 'Why do you think I get the man and you the woman..?' Afterwards I started thinking we maybe had had that slightly stupid (but never meant to be ignorant) conversation only because we weren't that used to men in women's clothes. Not because we were afraid or felt uncomfortable. 

One of my best friends in Barcelona was a drag queen though, so I have spent quite some time around men in dresses, but that's still very different from a man who seemingly only wants to live as a woman. My friend and his crew were further much more focused on their drag performances being an artistry and were often quite over the top being in their work clothes. However, when they were not performing, most of them dressed like any other guys around. This made me wonder even more, since if we spotted the masseuse most likely being a man quite quickly, there's no way her employer could not have known.  Therefore I assume being openly HBT in Thailand is perfectly legal.

This lead me to really start thinking: what a weird region of the world it'd have been in the Scandinavian corner, if it was OK for for instance a woman to be married to a man in Gothenburg, but they might both have been penalized with imprisonment, fines and caning if they had openly shown their love in Oslo. At least in my reality, that's more or less equivalent to what's going on in the APAC (Asian Pacific) region. In addition, I think I've written this before, but just to make it perfectly clear: caning is a corporal punishment, when you hit people over their backs with thick bamboo sticks, having sharp cuts in them, so they will inflict as much damage as possible. Allegedly you can only take three rounds in one go and most people are sentenced to more than ten strokes. That apparently also means that as soon as you pass out, you are sent away to recover, which normally takes a few months. You are then called back when you are healed and again beaten until you pass out. This is to have the effect of you never repeating your crime. 

There are so many stories about people being treated in discriminating ways on the pure basis of whom they love, and this is why it's so important with events like Pink Dot. I was quite surprised that celebrating/demonstrating for equal rights for HBT people in a country like Singapore would be possible (where amongst others 'sodomy' is illegal, which is another word I actually had no clue what it really meant, until I came to Singapore), but oh how wrong was I. Fortunately.

This was the beginning of the 15 000 people strong group (+ Swedish husband before 'pink transformation')..

..gathered in Hong Lim Park..

..in the middle of town..

..to support the cause of inclusiveness..

..diversity..

..and freedom to love (now Swedish husband after 'pink transformation'). Of course we wanted..

..to be part of it (now also Swedish wife after 'pink transformation')!

The sun started to set and one of the drag queen entertainers made the audience laugh so hard, that at least this participant almost poured an entire glass of pink something over her husband ;)

Then it was time for another marvelous act, with more than ten extremely beautiful men (and I think a couple of women) in sparkly costumes to give us everything from tap to cancan 

Finally came the moment everyone had been waiting for: The Pink Dot..

..which was basically comprised of all the participants gathering as close together as possible, shining..

..pink flashlights (or normal flashlights with pink cellophane over them; needless to say, all pink cellophane was sold out in the entire region) towards the Furama Hotel and its pink heart in one of the windows (can you see it in the far?)

Overall, it was a small group compared to for instance the European Pride Festival or the Gay Parade in Sitges, but it felt like the most important stand I've taken so far coming to Asia. We'll definitely be part of it next year too

 Happy Pink Dot everyone and check us out in action on http://www.youtube.com/pinkdotsg!